Rebuttal

It has come to my attention that some people at Liberty have tried to discredit my story and my mom's story. I think I can quickly explain these lies about us and our stories here with some ease.

First, Liberty has made the claim that my mom lied about my dad threatening to come with his shotgun to the church sometime and harm people. One of the current pastors and former associate pastor and wife have said that my mom made up stories to people about my dad's behavior to slander and gossip. Although my mom and I do not remember this particular incident, I do know my dad would threaten suicide often. He even would hold his pistol to his head and say that if I did not do what he said he would blow his brains out. He keeps a gun in his car at all times and has used it to threaten drivers that annoy him. It was my dad's habit to threaten and bluff to get what he wanted. All he had to do was deny everything and there was little to prove he had done anything wrong.

Liberty is a very patriarchal church. They dismissed my mom's claims and did nothing to help her or us kids. It is easy for them to label any grievance a woman or kid has against a man as merely being not submissive or disobedient. The men pay the tithe that keep the pastors in power after all, the women and kids are supposed to know their place. Any abuse can be labeled as discipline and overlooked. They are aware of men cheating on their wives, beating wives and kids, etc. and yet all the man has to say is that he was discipling or was provoked and liberty will uphold the man's "god given right as head of the home". Many victims are not believed or even worse, are told they are in sin for trying to point out the sin of the man.

Second, it has been said that Justus did not tell me I should make a vow to not be in a relationship for two years. This is false, he most certainly did. He told me this in his office a mere matter of weeks after I started my christian walk. Although it is often encouraged for those in authority or who have been christians for some time to give advice freely, there is no one to check if the advice is good. Telling a young christian to take such a vow was wrong, not only does taking vows violate the bible, but also any vow being taken at such a time was foolish. If they even want to stick to the story that they did not tell me to do it, they still agreed to support it and therefore did not protect a young and naive christian from such a serious commitment. No one at Liberty is certified to counsel. And yet counsel and opinions flow endlessly from those who consider themselves wise. It is very much the blind leading the blind.

Third, Justus told me that I needed to find people to help keep me accountable for the vow. I asked four people I believe, not the entire church. Anyone who knows me knows that such an idea to make such a vow and to have others interfere in my life to help me stay accountable is not of my nature. It is of Justus's. Although he has perhaps just forgotten the details (I at least hope he is not lying) is highly probable. He has been entrusted to give advice to many young minds for years and doubtless forgets how much he encourages others to take his counsel. I do not doubt he had good intentions when he told me to do all this, but good intentions do not decide what is right and wrong.

Fourth, they said that my wife and I claimed to have the pastors support for our relationship, but did not. Amanda and I met with David Vaughan and then also with her old pastor to discuss our relationship. Both pastors told us that dating was not wrong and that we were not in sin for pursuing a relationship. My wife is a witness to this. When we decided in October 2013 that we were going to get married, we told David and Diane before we shared the news with anyone else. We were all gathered after church at a Bread Co when we told the Vaughan parents we had something to share and David said, "is there a ring?" We said no, but there was going to be, and he said "good for you guys!" Amanda and I tried multiple times to meet with David after that, but he was always busy. It was only when lies and gossip were spread about us that we lost their support, but we did not need their approval to get married. One of the reasons why I think David was unwilling to have Amanda in the room when I met with him after we were married was because David knew he would not be able to play ignorant in front of both of us, and that his stand was completely wrong. As others have pointed out, Liberty likes to get involved and control relationships. When I would not allow them to do the same with mine after they let fear and gossip make them crazy, they assumed the worse. We have heard from many of my friends who were pulled aside at church and bible studies by the pastors to tell them the "real" reasons Amanda and I were getting married before our wedding.We were not having premarital sex and we were not in violation of anything in the bible. Even if we were just desperate to have sex and that motivated our marriage like they claimed, it still does not violate scripture according to 1 Corinthians 7. We did not get married as a "screw you" to her family or any church. We loved each other and wanted to start a life together, thats it. Just because others made our relationship all about them and their desires does not alter why we got married.

Part of the issue at Liberty is that they teach fear. They teach to be afraid of anything that could be an idol, of not taking wise counsel, of disobeying those in charge, and they discipline those who do not do what they want. But all they have to do is call it love, good intentions, etc. and they are off the hook. They want to make this a matter of theological issues because they want to back up everything they do with their beliefs. Manipulation, fear, and allowing others to hurt people is not protected by the bible. Fathers beating their children is not love or discipline, calling it that to cover up the real issue is detestable. Husbands beating and threatening their wives, cheating and looking at porn is deplorable, renaming it the "man being the head of the home" and saying the wife should submit is a coverup. Counseling others and not telling them to seek true professional help because you believe you have a god-given right to lead and counsel is causing more issues, it is not your right to limit people from real help.

They were and are aware of many abuses and yet a series of renaming abuse and blame shifting allows them to look others in the eye and claim innocence and ignorance. What was done to my mom and myself was horrible. The pastors knew and did nothing. They have failed on multiple accounts to protect their congregation from harm and yet they did not step down or repent. There is a conflict of interest when they are accused of sin and have decided to be the judge and jury of their own trial. I want peace and reconciliation, but not at the price of the truth or of relabeling sin as justified by their interpretation of the bible.

What Liberty Teach Men About Being a Father

Liberty has abused people and harbored abusers for a long time. Their teachings help fuel and cause such behavior, and the victim count is ever rising. It starts with their hierarchy.

First, the leadership at Liberty claim to hold their position by divine right, that literally their god put them in charge of leading those people. Therefore they teach total obedience to them and that their "advice" has not only the backing of their wisdom, but also, since they are direct representatives of their god, the only right advice to follow. If you do not follow them you are pushed away and out of their good graces. Thus, right after their god, the leaders hold the top authority position.

Second, they appeal to small men who want power and control. These husbands and fathers love the teaching that the man is meant to rule and discipline, by divine sanction, and that obedience to them is the same as honoring god. Whether what he does is good, moral, or otherwise, the wives and children are to obey unquestionably since this "honors god". This creates corrupt and vile men who will always make sure to defend the leadership who in turn protect their right to power. Questioning the leadership or the men is the same as Job asking god why. You just aren't supposed to do that if you want to be a good christian.

Third, the wives. The wives in turn get power from their husbands to rule the kids with immunity and to influence other women in the congregation by being the wife of a powerful man. The wives are taught to always obey and submit to the husband, regardless of his behavior. When my dad was looking at porn and having affairs with multiple women, the leadership defended him. David Vaughan told my mom, who stayed with my dad for the sake of us kids, that the "statue of limitations had run out on punishing Steve because you did not leave him". They knew my dad was hurting my mom and us kids, but the power of the men and leadership was more important than protecting the us.  They also claimed that wives and kids can provoke the fathers to anger and therefore the father's reaction is justified no matter what he does.

Fourth, the kids. The leadership's kids are given special treatment and prestige by virtue of who their parents are. They are given power to lead and counsel their peers, regardless of merit.

Thus the entire system is made to support the control and power of others. Abuse is common, but told to be endured and cherished. It is called discipline. Wives and children are beaten, but told to submit and love the chastening of a "loving" father.

Anyone who does not adhere to these teachings and practices is shown the door, pushed away. To try to expose them is difficult. They do not see it as abuse. They see beating women and children, verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusing them as well, as love and their god given right. But deep down I think they know what they do is not good and that is why they are so secretive and refuse to meet with us. They attract men and women who have no position or power and then give them it for the price of giving power to the leadership. They must protect each other to hold on to it and this is why they will not meet.

Update

We have heard that Liberty has sent an internal memo to their congregation categorically denying our stories. They have tried to quench the questions inside their ranks by claiming that we are lying and that they do not support abuse or abusers. They have not yet contacted us to meet to discuss our grievances nor have they wanted to deal with us on equal terms. It is easy to deny, yet they hide their faces from their victims and the witnesses that have called them out. It is easy to tell your people you are innocent, but they do not have the courage to face us. That is cowardice.

They claim they are sad that we are hurt, but they say that we have no real cause to feel hurt. This is an empty sentiment that is meant to manipulate their congregation and imply remorse. We want the leadership to be held accountable to the same standards they have held others to. This is not just a matter of theological differences, this is a matter of abusive leadership that is trying to hide their abuse behind doctrinal differences. If they are innocent, let them hear our stories in front of their congregation and let the truth reveal who is telling the facts. Put your claims to the test and let your congregation judge your actions.

They have shown that they are willing to act to save face with their people, but our pain has not upset them. They have shown by their actions that they do not grieve their abuse or pain they have caused. Abuse is abuse, this is not a movement based in hate, bitterness, differing theology, etc. This is about consistent abuse that has been hidden and supported for decades. Such manipulative memos will not stop the truth. 23.5 thousand people have read these stories, the homeschool community is talking, etc. We are not going to stop until the abuse stops. The truth will keep being made public until you deal with the abuse with the victims themselves. When you push out all of your victims and try to discredit us then of course you can tell your congregation that you are innocent. Please respect us enough to say that to our faces. Hiding and secret internal emails will not acquit you.

By Anonymous

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

By Anonymous

"I'm not a member of Liberty, but we did attend services for awhile about a year ago. Reading all these stories, I had to come forward and share in the collection that I can see is rapidly growing as more brave people share.

One of the biggest things that deterred us from joining was the gossip cleverly cloaked as "concerned prayer requests." I distinctly remember one such conversation with "D" regarding a specific family. He asked that we pray for the family regarding sexually inappropriate behavior happening between siblings. He said that they were dealing harsher with the son because he was supposed to be a leader(??) and wasn't as involved as the daughter. He also told us that a man was under church discipline and being counseled by some of the men at the church for being immature and a poor leader of his family. Needless to say, he over shared to the max. Now let me explain the various things wrong with this entire scenario:

1. He barely knew us, and was telling us things that were absolutely none of our business. I was concerned that in the future, our inevitable private indiscretions would be rapidly gossiped about under the guise of "concern" and "storming heaven for them." Absolutely no, thank you.

2. The sexual repression of that church seemed incredibly high. Perhaps if there was healthy education and not so much control, there wouldn't be sexual issues between siblings looking for relief. People have needs, and it's unfortunate that this church seems to think that the healthy thing to do is ignore basic biology. That's not to say I'm encouraging sex outside of marriage, but for the love of God, at least don't demonize talking to the opposite sex.

3. The amount of pride that emulated from his face as he assured us that *he* was among those handling the situation, and since he and other men in leadership there were involved, outside counseling was not necessary. Given the Josh Duggar situation last year and Doug Phillips before that, we know that handling such deeply rooted issues takes more than just internal church dealings. It takes a delicate, gentle, trained professional to make sense of things and actually get to the root of the problem. Not everything can be fixed if you slap a Jesus bumper sticker on your minivan and resolve to "do better."
For that specific family, I do not know you, but I share these details to prove to you that this conversation occurred. I did not share half as many details as I was told. Beware of any dealings with this "D" guy, because nothing stays private. I do hope you are reading this from the safe location of a new church and things are better with you."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

Her Conclusion

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

Her Conclusion

"Conclusion:

When I wrote my story, I wrote only a few of the memories left after 10 years of having left.  I barely scratched the surface of events that occurred during our ten year stay.

The question looming might be:  “Is David J. Vaughan a ‘Dangerous Cult Leader’?”  I am not in the position to claim fact to that accusation.  I am, however, experienced under his leadership to draw attention to the correlation of much of his behavior to the list provided by Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent.  The excessive amount of similarities is worthy of assessment and concern.

The next question that might be asked, “Why did it take us ten years to leave?”  To me, this is the question of relevance, as it points to why there are still families, good families, at the church surrounding, enabling, and protecting DJV and his teachings.  I believe it is because they believe him and in him.  I also believe these families have a hole somewhere in their personal history.  A hole that DJV and his teachings fill.  A need for significance, a dark past that the church brought them through, a need for community and acceptance.  A vulnerability.  A shade short of healthy, emotional existence.  Furthermore, I believe we all bring emotional holes to the table to some degree.  I can only speak for myself, but I began to listen to my gut instincts, the red flags, after a few years at Liberty.  After time, the pile grew larger, and when we began to mention some of them to the leadership, the hammer came down.  Families were leaving by the droves, being characterized as the chaff being separated from the wheat.  That was when I knew it was time to leave.  My husband took a bit longer – until the subtle “you’re out” tactics hit home.

These dynamics can be happening around you, even to your good friends.  It is accepted because of the explanation provided; “they are in sin”, “she is non-submissive”, “they are not in the Word”, etc.  That’s why we stayed.  Because we believed in the tactics, until they were turned on us…. And suddenly, the light was turned on.

As an interesting note, I was only told a few days ago what was being said about our family when we left:

 ~My husband was in sin, and DJV had to be forceful with him, and my husband didn’t respond well, so he left. 

~Our marriage was a mess.  Our family was a mess.  I was unsubmissive, and that’s why our marriage was failing.

~It was a shame.  The Vaughans tried to help us, but we wouldn’t listen.

~We used them (the Vaughan family) for status.  

Another Liberty member was told that I was a strong personality and I controlled my husband.  (This was the epitome of ‘non-biblical’, according to DJV theology.  It was the worst sin by a woman.  Of course, this member was a woman.)

It’s very interesting to me that some of these same reasons mirror our reasons for leaving, and some of the points I believed about our friendship with the Vaughans. It is also important to note, that these explanations were fairly universal to every family who left, if you were brave enough or had enough status, to inquire.

The final question that might be asked could be, “Why did it take us ten years to talk about it?”  The answer to this points to the significance of surviving an experience such as this.  Yes, I said, “surviving”.   Brainwashing as a result of this type teaching, the inability to challenge and discuss issues and the strategy employed toward church members to obey and stay, deeply programs one’s mind.  Upon leaving, there is serious grieving for those left behind, relationships lost and extreme confusion on what is normal and what is wrong.  It takes time outside of the environment to fully understand that the concepts you were indoctrinated toward, are specific to the Church you came out of, not the Church as a whole.  That in fact, much of what you believed and practiced was twisted theology to fit the paradigm of the leader you followed, not Jesus.  It also takes time to heal, and to reprogram your thinking, regain your voice, and stand firm.  The unseen damage is very difficult to put into words.  To unravel that damage takes time."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

My Thoughts

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

*I will continue posting stories tomorrow, this was just on my mind.

My Thoughts

"Can I be real and vulnerable with you all? I am an atheist. This is Peter, you can read my story that went up a week or so ago. Being called back to help light up the darkness of Liberty has been hard. It means i have to be around many christians all saying their copyrighted sappy phrases of how Jesus is loving and that not all churches are as bad as Liberty. Thats not easy for me.

I want to quickly state the non-emotional reasons I don't believe. There is no evidence of who the authors of the gospels are. We have no original manuscripts, only copies and shreds of copies of parts of the new testament. We have to trust the word of Paul, murderer/pharisaical raised Jew who had a vision that no one else could verify and then taught exact doctrines on issues Jesus was never recorded talking about. The bible itself being compiled many decades after the events and the politics that went into adding and editing the many religious documents before it was eventually compiled. The fact that christians today pick the version of the edited english bible that was translated from greek, about the words of their god who spoke aramaic, and then go to the brand/denomination of church that best suits their many preferences. Then they have the audacity to claim to know exactly what a god said who they have to have faith to believe in, says and feels about everything. This seems insane to me.

Now i want to address all of you who felt the need to correct, defend yourself/god, or debate me. Why? Why do I need to believe like you? Why can't you see this as a wake up call to truly live out your beliefs? It is just too convenient to claim that the church is a hospital for sinners and not a museum for the saints. You are basically saying that no matter how bad you violate the teachings of your own faith, you will still be fine. That you can claim to have the ultimate standard and challenge others with a faith that allows you to be a hypocrite and get away with it.

You see, David Vaughan, Mike Bond, Greg Tyler, Dan Benson, Justus Witty, etc. all firmly believe that their beliefs give them the right to teach and control others. That their intentions justify their loving power grab. They do not care how much damage they do to others as long as they can control how people live for as long as possible. Out of love, naturally.

There are lasting consequences to what they and others have done. Because of them I lost contact with my mom for over ten years. My dad was allowed to abuse me. I lost my faith and many friends. Other christians are quick to say that not all christians and churches are like that and that god isn't like his people. But they are not quick to be what they claim.

They say their god forgives and yet they do will not talk to any of us that they hurt. They claim to have the very son of god living in their hearts and yet they don't support the homeless, the refugee, the oppressed, the abused. They claim that their god changed their hearts and yet they will abandon and ostracize others who marry and be friends with those they do not approve of. I could go on. I see no empirical evidence to say there is a god. And no, a subjective, biased, and emotional experience is not proof. When there is no evidence, and the people themselves merely pick the flavor of christianity they like and call it truth and then use it to say they can determine what is factual, is ridiculous to me.

Liberty hasn't contacted us. I am an atheist not because I want to live my life my own way without consequences. Its because it doesn't make sense. People like me, we are watching. Don't try to evangelize me or prove how well you have studied the bible. LIVE it and then let those of us who don't believe see that there might be something to what you believe. I am trying to expose the truth about Liberty because of their continued abuses, because it is right. Many claim that we should only expose them in the "right way". They also claim to have Jesus in their hearts. From what I have studied about Jesus, the guy who supposedly spent all his time calling out the religious leaders and not focusing on the politics of the day (take note of that conservatives), he would be whipping out the members at Liberty right now. It sounds stupid, but its time to bring back What Would Jesus Do. Would he ignore us, mock, be hypocritical, and protect a religious hierarchy that he never called for (we are all equal members of one body supposedly)? Or would he open the doors, live what he preached, and stop wasting so much time trying to argue and evangelize people into conformity? You decide, just don't try to save me. Lead by example."

Jo Ann's Story Part 3

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

Jo Ann's Story Part 3

"My story is only half written here.  I have left out our experience with our adoption and the role that the church played. I have left out the years that my husband spent writing a book for the “Leaders in Action” series by the prompting of DJV, only to never have it published once he went ‘radioactive’ with the editor, David Vaughan.  And I have left out the story of Stoneridge Subdivision, and the lack of church discipline and follow through toward the developer, who is related to the Vaughan family.  I have left out the impact the Liberty experience had on my two older children, and on my husband.  I have left out the many friendships that the theology of Liberty destroyed, because of dissent and gossip.  I have left out the most important point to make here.  The position that David J. Vaughan holds has the power of healing or destruction.  He too often uses it for his protection and self-promotion, creating destruction in the lives of others.

Epilogue.

I write my story, because as in my foreword, to be silent is to allow others to be hurt by the perpetrator.   I am hoping to share enough that others will draw their own conclusions of similarity in their interactions with DJV and the Liberty institutions.  May the blinders begin to come off, as they eventually did with us.  May others come forward with their story, to offer the private side of this church.

In my foreword, I shared my story of physical rape.  I did so, because I see many similarities with the spiritual rape occurring at Liberty Christian Church.

First, vulnerability, whether emotional, spiritual, or physical, creates victims. People who stay at a church that preaches and practices what Liberty does, are vulnerable on some platform.  The evidence in that is from the feedback that we are getting from outside of the church, that our stories are remarkable.  

Second, isolation must occur for abuse and threat of further abuse to take place.  The protocol at Liberty is to handle things ‘privately’.  There is a reason for this.  We are not allowed to speak about these issues.  This is isolation.  The leadership is doing damage control, to protect their actions.  

Third, things are not what they always appear.  A blue polyester suit and a baby boy does not make a man of character.  Neither does an academic sermon and a charismatic personality. Dictates that are preached in the sermons are not necessarily followed in private.  

Fourth, without vindication, the victim is seen as lying, and the perpetrator grows strength. It justifies the action of the perpetrator, allowing room for another similar act to occur. 

Fifth, acts of wrong that go unstopped, repeat them selves, sometimes to a greater degree. Thus, the general population is agreeing to, and promoting the occurrences.  To be silent, is still taking a side.   

Sixth, perpetrators are not concerned with their victims.  They see themselves as the victim.  Not calling it out, enables this behavior."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

Jo Ann's Story Part 2

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

*When I attempted two years ago to let the congregation at Liberty know about the sins of the leadership there, only one person responded. Tom Piper, a deacon, emailed me to say that I better be sure of my case before I brought up a charge against "god's elect". When I said I had witnesses and was sure, he never responded. None of them did. They all had a meeting, to which we were not invited, to declare me insane and in sin though. It has been three weeks, the stories from the witnesses are becoming public because they will not listen, and they have not yet contacted any of us. Liberty, that speaks volumes.

Jo Ann's Story Part 2

"The church prided itself in picketing the local video shop, because the shop had a back room filled with porn films that could be rented.  David would preach about this on occasion, and I remember one day in particular.  He brought to the pulpit, a pornographic video, preaching against the use of underage girls in the films.   Maybe it was just me, but I was confused on several points.  The first point is why did he need to bring the film into the church?  The second, how would he know about such a practice?  The third, did preaching against this practice justify supporting it by renting the film and was that not hypocritical, given the picketing his church supported?  Finally, the video within his possession placed him in the precarious position of having watched it.  In the name of God, or not, going near pornography in this manner is wrong.  He was not exempted from the rules he placed on the rest of the congregation.  Yet, his bold preaching that day certainly indicated that he was.  

Another interesting characteristic was that David had an invested manner of aligning himself with people of greater statue, such as George Grant, Doug Wilson, Gene Veith, and Marshall Foster, and protecting those relationships for himself.  George Grant was a guest speaker for Liberty Classical School.  The board worked tirelessly, promoting the event, preparing for a reception afterward, and looking forward with time to speak with Dr. Grant.  When the time arrived, David did not arrange ample time for the board to spend alone with George Grant, instead hosting Dr. Grant on his own.  It was a confusing moment for some of the members on the board, and one of the first turning points on how my husband viewed his mentor and friend, Dr. David J. Vaughan.  Instead of creating time that would promote the school, Dr. Vaughan created time with George Grant that would promote himself.  

On two occasions during our membership with Liberty, the Deacons called a meeting to discuss the finances of the church.  Liberty Church was dramatically behind in the budget.  They called the men of the congregation to rise and help meet the deficit by donating contributions.  My husband rose, as did two other men in the congregation, and agreed to donate $3000 each to help meet the gap.  Let me share, the request came with such guilt upon the men, I was impressed only three stood up.  We donated, but only by using money from an equity line, that then put us in debt.  This practice occurred again.  This time, I don’t remember anyone from our family standing up.  This hit me as off, from a church that preached no debt, and being fiscally responsible.  

Slowly, the church was gaining momentum in the community.  David was asked to speak at different events, we actively supported local politicians, and were becoming noted for our conservative, unapologetic stand on issues such as abortion, alternative life choices, and pornography.  Our position on the outside of the church, began to manifest itself on the operations of the inside of the church.  Unwritten rules were beginning to be encouraged.  Women were not to show their shoulders, wear short skirts, expose their toes, cut their hair.  All of this was explained to me by Diane Vaughan, and role modeled appropriately.  None of it was written, but the expectation was if you loved Jesus, you would follow these acts to be closer to God, and protect yourself from men’s wandering eyes to commit a sin by lusting for you.  I failed miserably, on purpose, on all of these accounts.  The red flags were beginning to rise though my soul, and although I did not give voice to my feelings, my actions spoke my heart.  The rumblings had begun, and the allegiance to the Vaughan Dynasty was beginning to crumble.    And in their eyes, there was certainly the possibility that my heart toward Jesus was failing.

David Vaughan would pride himself in the story of his own marriage, and how he taught Diane the lesson of submission.  He simply asked her to teach on it, so she would immerse herself into the word, under his guidance, to see where she fell short of submission in her own marriage.  Certainly, as a godly role model, she would self correct.   This, coupled with the following story, seemed to embarrass Diane into the perfect submissive wife.  David spoke of a gathering around his dining room table where he asked Diane to get up and get him something.  An extended family member challenged David about the request, given that Diane had slaved over the meal. Diane acquiesced upon David’s reaction of embarrassment and hurt from being challenged openly. This act of public embarrassment has been recounted as a reason that a wife should submit to her husband, might I add, regardless of her circumstances.  Another man might be sensitive to the activity of his wife, and not make such a request.

The signs were always there, but the hurtful evidence took time to manifest.   I was already seeing signs of control with David Vaughan imposing his thoughts on us, the books we should read, the way we should dress, the manner in which our marriages should be handled, and people we should (or better said, should not) fellowship.  The church sponsored retreats yearly, one for the women, and one for the men.  I don’t remember any joint marriage retreats, although they may have occurred.  If you were a good Christian, you attended these retreats.  It was the expectation, with little option. 

As a woman after Christ, I wanted my husband to be a strong faith leader for our family, and I always encouraged his attendance at the men’s retreat.  Over the years, I noticed a change within our personal dynamics.  I’ll avoid the details here, but let’s just say, my husband drank the Kool-Aid from the male headship teachings.  He explained to me recently, “David taught us to keep the women small, in a box.  By doing that, we had better control over everything.  We were so thankful, we aligned ourselves even more with him.”  From my perspective, as a woman at Liberty Christian Church, we were taught to obey and submit to our husbands.  Most of our husbands were not wife beaters (although there were a few of these), but this combination of ‘keep your woman small’ and ‘submit to your husband’ changed healthy marriage arrangements into controlling institutions flavored with bitterness, disrespect and paranoia toward one another.   At least, this is what happened in my situation.  Ten years later, ten years away from the church, and we are only now understanding this imprint into our relationship.  

At the same time that I was experiencing this new dynamic with my husband, I was watching other families fall before the church.  Linda’s story is real.  I was there.  Unfortunately, it was not the first.  J’s story was first.  This one has not been written, but many people who are reading this, will know this story all too well.  And there were other stories to follow…..too many to name.  There is truth in the allegations that we were told to not speak to people.  We were not allowed to talk about what was happening amongst ourselves, and definitely not with the people involved.  This was categorized as gossip.  Furthermore, we were told to never have anything to do with the person who was pushed out of the church, in the case of Linda’s story….Linda.  If we were seen speaking to her, we would lose favor, and risk being the next person disciplined for being a gossip or for being disobedient.  

Our children began to grow up, and with that, conflict occurred. Teenage drama flung itself amongst the church families, and created adult drama.  Specifically, my children and the Vaughan children grew up.  Our oldest daughters were best friends.  They shared many experiences together, so there was naturally competition amongst them.  The Vaughan daughter excelled in one area, my daughter excelled in another.  With time, the teenage drama hit our daughters, and conflict occurred.  To go into the details now, a decade later, would be pointless, but the event warranted the fathers get involved.  When my husband went to David over the issue, events were turned around to point all wrong toward our daughter.  My husband confronted David privately on this stand by suggesting he was using his position as Pastor to promote his family.  David didn’t respond verbally, but thereafter his relationship and behavior toward my husband changed dramatically.  As my husband said, he had suddenly turned radioactive, with the church avoiding him, and David Vaughan treating him as though he were a stranger.  Furthermore, David used opportunities to call into his office other families in the church that our daughter was friends with to warn them of her bad influence on their child.  You would need to know the individuals and circumstances surrounding this act, which I cannot share openly, to understand the level of manipulation and power playing this act demonstrated.  It was justified under the umbrella of “protecting the hearts of the children” (at this time the children were in their late teens, early twenties.)"

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

Jo Ann's Story Part 1

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

*Jo Ann's husband, Denis, got his doctorate from an accredited university. David Vaughan and Mike Bond both received their "doctorates" from the same non-accredited school. Their credentials are just as authentic as any religious doctorate you can purchase online. They use their "doctorates" to insinuate status and knowledge, but would not be accepted by most organizations.

Jo Ann's Story Part 1

"-A Foreword:

When I was 19 years old, I was raped by a high school acquaintance.  Earlier that evening, my then boyfriend of a year, had asked to not see me anymore.  My heart was broken, but I chose to move forward believing in the best.  I went out that night, and was approached by my perpetrator, being told that he understood why the man I loved no longer wanted to see me.  I was vulnerable.  I agreed to leave the party to hear why this could be.  It was January, January 9^th, 1980 to be exact.  He told me to get into his car, and he would turn the heat on.  The next thing I knew, he was driving, and I was captive.  We ended up 18 miles from the party, alone. He threatened to kill me, as he raped me.  I managed to get out of the car, and in the dark of the night, hid from his headlights, and found my way to a friend’s home, over 4 miles away.  After a week of not telling anyone but my friend, I told my parents what had happened.  I was frightened for my life.  My father called the police, and before I knew it, I was pressing charges, and was knee deep in the legal system.  After waiting a year and a half, with three postponements on the trial date, the trial was held.  It lasted two days.  My perpetrator showed up in a baby blue polyester suit, bouncing his newly born (out of wedlock) boy on his knee.  The jury found him innocent, based on the evidence that I got into the car with him willingly.  It was devastating.  My community looked at me differently.  By the action of the jury, I was a liar.  He won.  He grew power.  The story didn’t end here.  Five years later, he killed the assistant manager of the restaurant that he worked at, to hide the burglary of $3000.00.  He took him to the community park, undressed him, slit his throat and dumped him in a lake.  I have always felt like the blood of Kevin Miller, the assistant manager, is on my hands, for not speaking up sooner, and creating clear evidence to commit a guilty decision by the jury at the rape trial.  My perpetrator is now serving a life sentence in the Kentucky Penitentiary.   But one life too late, and that’s why I speak today.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”  Charles Dickens

This is the only way I can describe my ten years at Liberty.  And with this statement I shed a veil over why others choose to stay there.  The same reason I chose to stay for so long, dragging my children through the teachings.  Because you become blinded by “the best of times.”

My story is filled with many small moments that point to the bigger picture.  I call these ‘red flags’ and they appeared slowly and scattered at first, where very little attention was given to them. Collectively, they are symptomatic of a leader who commands control, to the level described in the article, Dangerous Cult Leaders (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders), written by Joe Navarro, MA.  (https://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/joe-navarro-ma).  According to this list, David J. Vaughan meets well over 30 of 50 of the criteria sited.  

We joined Liberty about a year after the church had formed as fairly new Christians.  Upon our first visit, David J. Vaughan was drawn toward my husband, who had a PhD in Medical BioChemistry.  He treated him with high esteem, and we found our families quickly spending time together.  Our children became friends.  My husband was flattered by the attention and charisma of David and soon became an avid friend and follower of DJV.  Clearly, the attraction was due to my husband’s higher education.  No doubt in my mind, my husband offered status by association to the then Mr. Vaughan.  This newly formed friendship, with time, brought us close, if not at times into the inner circle of the Liberty Leadership.

Liberty Christian Church offered a fresh, spontaneous, bold, and very family friendly and homeschooling friendly climate.   We were introduced to the concept of courtship, and thus began the father/child workshops on this method of ‘protecting our children’s hearts’.  We were taught the value of teaching a Biblical Worldview and the value of children and large families, and the importance of male leadership within the family.  It was at Liberty that we expanded our family from two children to five children, with great celebration and community of love from the congregation.  We were extremely active with the church, receiving their acceptance of us into their inner circle, even vacationing with David and Diane Vaughan on two separate occasions.  We loved everything about Liberty.  

The first rite of passage that I remember was being invited by Diane Vaughan to share my testimony at the women’s retreat.  This request, along with my husband’s newly formed friendship with DJV, played straight into my ego.  I obviously had learned and gained wisdom that would be a benefit to this fabulous group of ladies.  I remembered my mantra was to be transparent so I shared a lot.  In hindsight, this ‘sharing’ offered a platform for the Vaughan’s to have insight into me, my family, and my relationship with my husband.  I spent 10 years watching as every new woman in the congregation was asked to participate in this open ‘sharing’.

In the early years, there were comments made toward my husband, by DJV and another deacon, to suggest that my husband should be made a deacon.  Nothing ever became of it, but it registered in my mind as a strange comment.   The congregation voted for the deacons of the church.  I’m not sure who counted the votes, but I was amazed how most of the men who made the grade were ‘yes’ men to David."

The concept of a learning institution to support homeschooling families teach the high school curriculum courses was birthed during my husband’s friendship with David Vaughan, thus Liberty Classical School was created.  It is currently being referred to as Liberty Classical Center.  My husband was on the founding Board, and taught the higher science courses, Biology and Chemistry.  During the beginning years, David spoke of a University in O’Fallon that followed the model of New Saint Andrews College, founded by Doug Wilson.  He had grand ideas of creating an academic legacy.  My husband served on the LCS board for approximately 7 years.  

Our personal relationship with the Vaughan family allowed us to glimpse into David’s world outside of the Church pulpit.   Our oldest daughters were good friends, our next oldest grew up together catching lizards, frogs, and exploring the woods, Diane and I had children within three months of each other. Our lives were intertwined.  We adored David Vaughan and his family.  We drank the Kool-Aid, and as a result often declared our allegiance to him in the face of adversity.  He would challenge, specifically me, on my obedience to his teachings.  If he felt not respected, he would look at me, as though I was a child being punished by my parent.  I would quickly acquiesce, so as to keep myself in his favor.  When we would go out to dinner with David, he would often find fault with his dinner and send it back.  This is a small point, except it happened regularly, and was a indicator of his need to exercise his sense of empowerment, expecting to be treated special at all times. 

His preaching style and moments leading worship presented red flags.  Specifically, when he led worship, he would demand everyone to raise his or her hands to the Lord, ridiculing us if we chose not to do so.  It very much felt like we were being called to obey David Vaughan, not to freely worship the Lord.  It felt controlling, and as though David required it to fortify the wonderful job he did in leading the worship.  He further did gestures during his preaching, such as saying, “Can I get an AMEN?” , “Say ‘YES’” or “Are you listening?” to command reaction and attention from the congregation.  By this simple act, he got the congregation to agree to the point he was preaching about, before they were able to fully process the direction of the message.  Another subtle characteristic of DJV, was his manner of preaching from the pulpit on topics that the congregation was showing disobedience.  I remember joking that one particular sermon was designed for me, as it put me in my place.  The interesting point to this strategy, is that the entire room was in sync, agreeing with the valid points, as David led them with his gestures of “Can I get an AMEN?”. It was a powerful way to keep the sheep in line. Another powerful way to keep the sheep believing in you, is to say the right thing before the congregation.  Unfortunately, that did not keep the wrong thing from happening in private.  It did keep us covering up for David, because we simply did not know what we did not know."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

Hollie's Story Continued

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

*I took a brief break from posting stories because of all of the people who have come to me asking questions and telling me their stories about how Liberty has hurt them. NONE of the leadership or those who are in sin have contacted any of us. Here is Hollie's recap of our protest. I also had to allow some people more time to write their stories since they were so difficult for them to write. The stories of the abuse continue now.

Hollie's Story Continued

"It's been ??? days since I decided to picket Liberty Church to warn the community that it was unsafe and that pastor was spiritually abusive--the same pastor who sat with my dad while my mom lay dying 5 years earlier almost to the day.  

I barely slept the night before the demonstration, 4 hours, maybe 3.  Anything below 5 and you kind of stop counting.  Just after sunrise Sunday morning we grabbed McDs on our way out of town and started on the 2-hour trek to O’Fallon with the 4 kids quietly zoning out.  Before we got to the church, Jon stopped at QT.  He got some kind of cinnamon donut thing and offered me some.  The smell of the truck from the donut made my bacon, egg and cheese biscuit come back up, and at that moment I regretted that I had eaten anything at all.  

Jared’s big smile greeted us in the parking lot near our demonstration site.  His positive energy diffused my sickness, at least temporarily, lol.  Though I had been briefed on our legal rights, having a possible run-in with Liberty’s head of security (a retired? north county police officer) still made my knees buckle.  Those first few steps toward the sidewalk with my sign in hand felt about as steady as my first steps to the bathroom after giving birth.  

God spared me lingering anguish, for the two people I was absolutely avoiding the most—scary cop and the pastor—drove by as I was just getting to the intersection.  I smiled and waved mechanically.  Every voice save one screamed in my head a battery of things: “What are you doing??”  “This is insane!” “You’re picketing a church—YOUR old church.”  “There must be a special place in hell for people who picket churches.”  “Just stop right now.  Call this whole thing off before any more people see you.”

The quietest voice said to take a deep breath.  “I know everything inside of you feels backward right now.  Sometimes it does Hollie.”  I took another deep breath and pulled myself up.  I clutched my sign with both hands.  The shaking was almost visible.  I quickly realized it bothered me less if one hand was waving, so I waved like crazy.  And smiled.  

Confusion or smiles and waves is what most of my old church gave me as they turned in.  This wasn’t so bad.  We had great exposure to a busy overpass and several in the community stopped to ask what was going on.  I handed them my 4-page explanation.  

As we stood on the sidewalk, people began telling their stories.  “Liberty protected my abuser” was the sign two older women held.  And as they spoke, it was clear they had processed the abuse they experienced at Liberty and not only forgiven their abusers but loved their current non-abusive churches.  Yet they stood just as resolutely as those of us whose abuse was still fresh and raw.  

You can love someone in Christ and still call for him to step down.  You can forgive your abuser and still warn those who will come into contact with him.  This is a loving thing to do.  These women weren’t bitter or out for vengeance.  They were protecting others.  Had they spoken up louder when they went through it themselves, perhaps more people would’ve been spared the devastation David’s abuse caused since them.  It was a solidifying moment for me."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted! 

Mona's Story Part 3

This blog is for the silenced, the marginalized, and the victims of the many types of abuse that the leadership and members of Liberty Church in O'Fallon Missouri have inflicted on their members and any who opposed their love for control. These are the stories of the witnesses:

Mona's Story Part 3

"When I’ve researched abusive churches, one common idea presented is that the leadership did not set out to be abusive. I believe that to be the case with Liberty. I think David Vaughan and the people around him want(ed) to glorify God. I hope, with the history I’ve provided in parts one and two, show that David Vaughan – like everyone else – is gifted and flawed. He is good intentioned but reluctant to accept constructive criticism, an inspirational speaker and accomplished writer, but lacks training in counseling. He can be empathetic, but he can also be narcissistic.

I also think that the abuses that have happened at Liberty are not just because of one person. The structure of the church and theological and cultural influences have contributed as well. The strong patriarchal beliefs that developed over time became misogyny. The lack of oversight has allowed abuses to go unchecked.

To continue my story, the day that David was confronted at Christ Community Church was pretty much the end of that church. CCC did hold services for months afterwards, but dwindled in size and finally closed their doors. Those of us who sided with David met together at people’s homes and then in a rented facility. We became Liberty Christian Church. One thing that many of us felt was important in the church structure was to have a lead pastor as opposed to a plurality of elders and that was written into the bylaws.

Those early days were exhilarating. To me it seemed like all things spiritual took on a crystal clarity. We were united in our stance against the folks who had (seemingly) falsely accused David. We were obviously on the right side. Our time of worship was passionate and sweet. The music was amazing. The sermons were powerful. Many people shared scriptures and insights in the services. It was a fresh start and we were going to really get it right this time.

I became more extreme in my beliefs. Rah rah for homeschooling, large families, patriarchy, purity, bible memorization, conservative values, etc.

Early on, David asked me to be the secretary. By then we had a church treasurer, Dave Wilson. At the time Dave had a computer business and we were purchasing a computer from him. When I was at his shop, I asked him about the payment structure for my secretary position and he was completely shocked as he did not know anything about me being the church secretary. Awkward. Again. I guess it worked out because I was the office administrator at Liberty for seven years. I worked as an independent contractor.

At the same time, John and I were growing further apart. He had health issues and he was emotionally and verbally abusive. He would compare me to other women in the church asking why I didn’t keep as clean of a house as so and so. He’d often refuse to eat the meals I prepared if they weren’t to his liking. On the rare occasions that we were intimate he looked at me with disgust and loathing. He complained about our lack of sex (to me and to others in the church) but rarely showed me any kindness and almost never attempted to initiate anything. We fought often, never seeming to resolve anything. It was as if we pulled argument #37 out of the card file to replay. Then argument #24, etc. He was became increasingly harsh with our children and I was pushing back (code phrase: being unsubmissive).

John was miserable with himself and finally confessed to being unfaithful to me. It had gone on while I was pregnant with Jimmy.

I reluctantly share these very personal details because I feel they are important in this story. I am a private person so this is hard. Also, as much as John and I had our differences, I feel that his side should also be heard. It would be great if he would share his story as well. It takes two to build a good marriage and it takes two to destroy it. I was far from perfect.

When John confessed I was devastated. He actually confessed to Marty Kinsey first. Marty brought in his wife, Tami, and David and Diane and they arranged for childcare for our kids so John could privately tell me. This was on a Saturday when I had “Sunday” school duty at church that night. It was horrible.

So John met with David and other men in the church for counseling and prayer. David and I had one “session” when we discussed this when I picked him up and drove him out to our place to meet with John. I expressed my outrage and he seemed surprised by my anger but also said it was healthy. After that, only Diane met with me. I expected us to have at least some joint sessions. I expected we would go through what had led up to the affair. I thought we would discuss tools to have healthy and productive conflict resolution. None of that ever happened. I don’t know what John’s sessions were like or what they discussed. I know that Diane had me read books on wifely submission and later asked me to teach about it at a woman’s conference. I also remember that I told her that now I had my biblical “out” of the marriage. According to Jesus, I had a legit reason to leave the marriage and I really really wanted to. But Diane put a damper on that thought by saying, “Have you talked to David about that?” The very strong implication was that I should stay in the marriage and I never did talk to David about it.

While going through this I did not talk to my family or other church members about the affair. I don’t think anyone told me I couldn’t talk, but we had had some very strong anti-gossip sermons and I felt I would be going against the leadership if I did. There were those who were concerned and pressed me for details, but I held firm. John’s mother finally guessed it and asked me directly and I told her it was true. Wow was John ever angry with me for letting that out – but his actions were actually what told her. Having to attempt process my pain without being able to talk about it was awful. I felt so wretched and alone and isolated.

So I sort of shoved the problems from my mind and went on with my life. I tried to forgive him. I think in time I did. It was a mistake and he was truly sorry. We did grow closer again for a while but the affair was always between us. John’s health problems got worse and he went on full time disability and was always at home. He was bitter and angry and depressed and on lots of painkillers and became very difficult to be around. I started taking my kids with me when I worked at Liberty so that they could be away from him. If I didn’t have them with me, I would come home to complaints about how they disrespected John and how he was disciplining them for it. If I questioned or wanted to hear their side of the story he would become enraged because I wasn’t submitting to him.

John and I went to the church for counseling instead of going to professionals because we didn’t want to seek ungodly secular counseling. From my past experience with “counseling” I had an unwavering trust in David to fix things. I share responsibility in the fact that going to the church only – and not seeking impartial professional counseling – contributed to the demise of our marriage.

Our house had some leaks and we found out we needed to replace the roof – an expense that we couldn’t afford. I think Liberty paid for tiles and a bunch of men from Liberty came out and replaced our roof. That was kind and generous.

While I was the Office Administrator at Liberty, I sometimes had occasion to observe things. One time I was asked to photocopy a large amount of material on wifely submission from Bill Gothard. In the late 70s I had attended one of his Basic Youth Conflicts seminars and always had an uneasy feeling about his teachings. He extracted “life principles” from the scriptures and was pretty dogmatic that they must be followed. Very legalistic and repressive. In recent years Gothard has had sexual harassment allegations filed against him. Google him if you are interested. I was actually pretty surprised we were using Gothard materials – to me they seemed to go beyond the bible and I thought David Vaughan had more sense than that. I was also bothered that I was asked to photocopy copyrighted material. These materials were for the wife of an abusive alcoholic husband. I hope she will one day share her story.

Liberty decided to start an adjunct to homeschooling for high school aged students. Thus Liberty Classical School was born. I had a lot of thoughts and ideas about this at the beginning which I had emailed to David Vaughan. So he asked me to serve on the board for the school. I accepted. As a board, we sometimes met in area restaurants as we ordered a meal. I observed David’s old flirtatiousness with the waitresses.

During one of our board meetings, David told me they needed to find a man to replace me on the board as a woman shouldn’t be serving on the school board. I think I resigned soon after that meeting.

My son Jimmy was on a little league baseball team with some church members’ kids. David’s son, Ethan, was one of them. One of the mothers of a teammate was an attractive, curvy, long-legged woman who usually wore very short shorts. When David was there without Diane, he and this woman had long conversations, went to the concession stand together, sat on the bleachers together. When Diane was with David, he barely acknowledged this woman. I make no accusation here, I am just reporting what I observed. No embracing. I never heard the conversations. It just felt a little off and didn’t seem an entirely appropriate example to be set by a pastor in a church where purity was preached.

I had a close relationship with the wife of one of the families in the church. Her husband had a wandering eye and also beat her. When they met with Liberty leadership, she was told she just needed to stop provoking her husband. I hope she will share her story.

John and I served on the worship team. He played bass and I played violin and sang. I loved the music there. Contemporary and well done. It seemed that many were blessed by it. But we did have issues. One thing is that people often told me they could not hear my violin or my singing. I am self-absorbed enough for that to have bothered me. I was a busy person. I had better things to do than put in the time and expense and not be heard. We knew that sometimes the sound techs deliberately turned us down or off or ignored us.

The situation came to a head one evening when I was playing my new electric violin. I felt like the holy spirit was playing through me that evening and an old friend was visiting and I hoped she was touched. But when I asked her she just told me she couldn’t hear me. John and I decided to talk to the worship team leadership and the meeting quickly turned ugly. One of the members told John they just liked him there with them even if he couldn’t be heard. John got mad and was told he was off the worship team. He then got up to leave, saying to me, “Come on Mona, we’re done.” I knew, from our personal conversations, that there were things he really wanted expressed, and I knew he didn’t REALLY mean for me to leave the meeting. So I stayed, hoping to reason with them, but they refused to listen and I was told I needed to obey my husband. As we left, John muttered to me that sometimes Liberty took the submission stuff too far.

The next day I got an email telling me that since John was no longer on the worship team that I was no longer on the team as well.

John quit going soon after that. I held on for a while. It was hard. Especially when one of the wives from one of the newer families asked me if I were married. The way she said it, it seemed she was bothered to see a seemingly single mother serving in the church as the secretary.

Just like at CCC, when people left it was like they had never been there. But this time, since our kids were in various things together – like homeschool choir or classes at the Pillar – I kept a little better in contact. And I heard stories. Hopefully some of those people will share their stories.

I knew when they did church discipline on Linda Kintz that it was completely bogus. What a whack mess of things. How far were they going to take this patriarchy bs?

I received so many calls from in the church office from folks trying to reach David repeatedly. A lot of complaints they wanted addressed. I always brought them up to David, and I think he grew weary of me being the messenger. He usually wanted everything to be discussed with the men of the church, but when I followed up it usually hadn’t been discussed and the calls often remained unanswered. I never knew when David might be in the office and he even went out of town without letting me know. A lot of my calls and emails to him were also unanswered.

I gradually stopped going to Liberty and began to half-heartedly look for a new church. I still worked there and gave violin lessons there. It was still a place I could bring my kids while I worked. But the joy was gone for me.

One day, David set up a time for me to meet with him later in the week. It was an unusual request and I felt pretty apprehensive. When I went to his office he was there with the interim (?) assistant pastor, David Volz. I had a little pocket pc and I recorded the meeting. They told me they were letting me go. The rationale was that they wanted to groom Mike Bond as a pastor and could not afford to have an office admin and a pastor intern on staff so they were firing me. Mike would take over as office administrator while he studied and trained to be a pastor. David told me that they couldn’t keep me because I was a woman and a woman can’t be a pastor. They wanted me to stay on for another month to finish a policy manual project I had been working on, but I packed up my office the next day and was out of there. David told me the women of the church wanted to hold a luncheon in my honor. I told him it was a nice gesture but no thanks. This was in the spring of 2003.

Now I was unemployed with a disabled husband. I had to find another job and I knew finding a job with the flexibility I had enjoyed at Liberty was nearly impossible. And the exit from Liberty was not swift and clean. John left first. Then I did. But my kids were still in Liberty Classical School and Teens For Christ. For a few years they continued to go to camp at El Shaddai Ranch. At these camps Kim Ward told my daughter Mary not to hug her brother Matthew. Diane Vaughan discouraged the younger girls from holding hands or linking arms as that behavior would lead to lesbianism. I already didn’t agree with making girls wear huge dark tee shirts when they swam as I felt it was ridiculous and added extra weight, making swimming harder.

I was appalled that my daughters were rebuked for just being who they were – girls. That they were shamed for being kind and affectionate with each other.

I feel I’m beginning to ramble. Many many “little” things do add up. As the years wore on I became increasingly agnostic. And full disclosure here, I was – after 11 years of no sex – eventually unfaithful to John. I reconnected with my highschool sweetheart, Dan, to whom I had once been engaged. After the first episode, I immediately went to a lawyer and filed for divorce. I had tried to leave John about five years prior to this – going so far as to put a deposit down on an apartment – but backed out when his mother passed away. I just couldn’t do it to him when he was already in so much pain. We had been living very separate lives for years. Dan and I have now been married nearly 5 years and are very happy. Dan loves me for who I am and admires that I am strong and make up my own mind on things. Wow. I love him so much.

I also drifted away from church – even though I’ve continued to work for churches. I’m sort of an agnostic Christian now. I take the bible seriously but not necessarily literally and I’m pretty unsure about who or what God is – although I still believe there is a god. I honestly don’t have a grudge anymore, but I feel the practices at Liberty are harmful to families and that to not speak out would be to silently give assent to them. I wish everyone there the best. I hope everyone involved can find healing and wholeness.

Thanks for reading and considering my story."

Do you have a story to tell? Has Liberty Church hurt you? Email your story to petertkintz@gmail.com and I will have it posted!