It has come to my attention that some people at Liberty have tried to discredit my story and my mom's story. I think I can quickly explain these lies about us and our stories here with some ease.
First, Liberty has made the claim that my mom lied about my dad threatening to come with his shotgun to the church sometime and harm people. One of the current pastors and former associate pastor and wife have said that my mom made up stories to people about my dad's behavior to slander and gossip. Although my mom and I do not remember this particular incident, I do know my dad would threaten suicide often. He even would hold his pistol to his head and say that if I did not do what he said he would blow his brains out. He keeps a gun in his car at all times and has used it to threaten drivers that annoy him. It was my dad's habit to threaten and bluff to get what he wanted. All he had to do was deny everything and there was little to prove he had done anything wrong.
Liberty is a very patriarchal church. They dismissed my mom's claims and did nothing to help her or us kids. It is easy for them to label any grievance a woman or kid has against a man as merely being not submissive or disobedient. The men pay the tithe that keep the pastors in power after all, the women and kids are supposed to know their place. Any abuse can be labeled as discipline and overlooked. They are aware of men cheating on their wives, beating wives and kids, etc. and yet all the man has to say is that he was discipling or was provoked and liberty will uphold the man's "god given right as head of the home". Many victims are not believed or even worse, are told they are in sin for trying to point out the sin of the man.
Second, it has been said that Justus did not tell me I should make a vow to not be in a relationship for two years. This is false, he most certainly did. He told me this in his office a mere matter of weeks after I started my christian walk. Although it is often encouraged for those in authority or who have been christians for some time to give advice freely, there is no one to check if the advice is good. Telling a young christian to take such a vow was wrong, not only does taking vows violate the bible, but also any vow being taken at such a time was foolish. If they even want to stick to the story that they did not tell me to do it, they still agreed to support it and therefore did not protect a young and naive christian from such a serious commitment. No one at Liberty is certified to counsel. And yet counsel and opinions flow endlessly from those who consider themselves wise. It is very much the blind leading the blind.
Third, Justus told me that I needed to find people to help keep me accountable for the vow. I asked four people I believe, not the entire church. Anyone who knows me knows that such an idea to make such a vow and to have others interfere in my life to help me stay accountable is not of my nature. It is of Justus's. Although he has perhaps just forgotten the details (I at least hope he is not lying) is highly probable. He has been entrusted to give advice to many young minds for years and doubtless forgets how much he encourages others to take his counsel. I do not doubt he had good intentions when he told me to do all this, but good intentions do not decide what is right and wrong.
Fourth, they said that my wife and I claimed to have the pastors support for our relationship, but did not. Amanda and I met with David Vaughan and then also with her old pastor to discuss our relationship. Both pastors told us that dating was not wrong and that we were not in sin for pursuing a relationship. My wife is a witness to this. When we decided in October 2013 that we were going to get married, we told David and Diane before we shared the news with anyone else. We were all gathered after church at a Bread Co when we told the Vaughan parents we had something to share and David said, "is there a ring?" We said no, but there was going to be, and he said "good for you guys!" Amanda and I tried multiple times to meet with David after that, but he was always busy. It was only when lies and gossip were spread about us that we lost their support, but we did not need their approval to get married. One of the reasons why I think David was unwilling to have Amanda in the room when I met with him after we were married was because David knew he would not be able to play ignorant in front of both of us, and that his stand was completely wrong. As others have pointed out, Liberty likes to get involved and control relationships. When I would not allow them to do the same with mine after they let fear and gossip make them crazy, they assumed the worse. We have heard from many of my friends who were pulled aside at church and bible studies by the pastors to tell them the "real" reasons Amanda and I were getting married before our wedding.We were not having premarital sex and we were not in violation of anything in the bible. Even if we were just desperate to have sex and that motivated our marriage like they claimed, it still does not violate scripture according to 1 Corinthians 7. We did not get married as a "screw you" to her family or any church. We loved each other and wanted to start a life together, thats it. Just because others made our relationship all about them and their desires does not alter why we got married.
Part of the issue at Liberty is that they teach fear. They teach to be afraid of anything that could be an idol, of not taking wise counsel, of disobeying those in charge, and they discipline those who do not do what they want. But all they have to do is call it love, good intentions, etc. and they are off the hook. They want to make this a matter of theological issues because they want to back up everything they do with their beliefs. Manipulation, fear, and allowing others to hurt people is not protected by the bible. Fathers beating their children is not love or discipline, calling it that to cover up the real issue is detestable. Husbands beating and threatening their wives, cheating and looking at porn is deplorable, renaming it the "man being the head of the home" and saying the wife should submit is a coverup. Counseling others and not telling them to seek true professional help because you believe you have a god-given right to lead and counsel is causing more issues, it is not your right to limit people from real help.
They were and are aware of many abuses and yet a series of renaming abuse and blame shifting allows them to look others in the eye and claim innocence and ignorance. What was done to my mom and myself was horrible. The pastors knew and did nothing. They have failed on multiple accounts to protect their congregation from harm and yet they did not step down or repent. There is a conflict of interest when they are accused of sin and have decided to be the judge and jury of their own trial. I want peace and reconciliation, but not at the price of the truth or of relabeling sin as justified by their interpretation of the bible.
